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(ADHD) Why do I get along with my dad?

par Thomas Etienne

Today when I hear what some people say about fathers, it saddens me a lot. Many people believe fathers are incompetent or infantilizing. The same people often overlook the importance of their role within the family unit. However, from what I have read, fathers have always had a prominent place in the family. In our family, my father is the central element. He is not merely the person who provides for my brothers and me; his role is more significant. He is our teacher, and he is the one who comforts us. When I am impulsive, he is the one who can soothe me and understand me. He knows that I am more than just a boy with ADHD, and he always believed I could improve my behaviour. Several people no longer had any faith in me; my aggressive behaviour was getting out of hand, and I was in a downward spiral. My school's administration and my loved ones had a very bleak image of me. I'm turbulent; I object to every decision made by my parents or authority figures. I didn't have adequate grades, which made me feel hopeless. My father was one of the few people who could still see positive qualities in me. My father has his flaws; he is a man of duty, an academic, and often likes to be left alone. Although he is a great father, he is not perfect and has his ups and downs.

As you know, my father doesn't have ADHD, and we often had conflicts, mainly because he could not understand the violent and impulsive reactions that are symptoms of my condition. What shocked him was the swearing and aggressivity, primarily if it was directed toward him. He then decided to read several books about ADHD to understand my behaviour better. Our bond improved and even tightened because he chose a different approach; he wanted to understand my condition. It was not easy for him to get over the hurtful words I would say to him. However, he could realize that a common symptom of ADHD was a lack of inhibition and impulse control. My bond with my dad is very different from the one with my mom, who also has ADHD. I think he is a better communicator than my mom is, and he is better able to put himself in my shoes. However, as I have already explained, our relationship isn't always sunshine and rainbows; he is rigorous, demanding and lectures us a lot. I think he doesn't have to change, we generally get along just fine, and it's perfect that way.

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